A busy week of skating...

So I haven't posteed for a little while, and I'm going to pretend that's because I wanted to write a bumper post, summarising the skating activities of this week. Because that's what you're getting now.

First of all, last week I asked for anyone from Bel's group to comment explaining what they had been doing at practice. Kitten Squeal went one better, and started her own blog, which you can find here, and also in the links sidebar, er... over there ->

Secondly, I promised you Mr X Stitch's photos from the practice he photographed for us. Rather than posting them all here, which will take up far too much space, I will point you to this gallery on our Facebook fan page, of which I know you are all already fans. Right? Good. Since this is my blog, I must point you to my flexibility in photo 2, and my arm whip to Dutch in photo 36. Please also ignore my "concentration face" in photo 40.


This Wednesday, a few of us joined Bedfordshire Roller Girls for their practice. Having not eaten much that day, I took part until I started seeing stars, then sat out for a bit before joining back in. Stupid mistake that will not be made again. The floor at Bedford is much more grippy that what we Cows are used to, and the skiting-in-treacle senseation really made things tough. So much respect for the leg muscles of the BRG girls, and those Cows that managed to keep it up for the entire 2-hour practice. Seriously, kudos.

Incidentally, the surface at BRG compounded a problem that Bibi and I have been having, which is characterised by sharp pain from the outside of the ankle running up the outside of the leg. A couple of people have suggested shin splints, although a bit of research suggests this is usually on the inside of the shin, rather than the outside. Any suggestions on a postcard plese (or in the comments, whatever you prefer).

Anyway, back to Bedford. We were lucky enough to get some coaching from Rainy City ref, Karl Lager-filled, who taught us some excellent whips and moves, including The Waitress and The Rocket. Some of these were beyond my skill level, but all of them were fun to have a go at.

After completely wearing myself out on Wednesday, I found myself laid up in bed for 2 days, presumably with whatever had afflicted Cer' during Wednesday's practice, along with a sore neck. Which sucked, and by Friday night I was concerned that I wouldn't be up to skating for the whole hour and a half. However, thanks to some accidental osteopathy from Cer' (she landed on my head and cracked my neck) I felt much better and really felt like I got a lot out of the blocking activities that Bel' organised for us. Definitely need to be pushing myself for top group now though - I think my general fitness level is letting me down, along with my lack of confidence in t-stops. More practice!


New skills executed successfully this week (if not mastered):

- T-stops - FINALLY! After weeks of watching my feet thinking "What am I doing wrong?", it turns out the thing I was doing wrong was... watching my feet. Just need to be able to use them at speed now

- Plough stops - realised I was putting my feet too far apart. With legs this short, plough stops are easier when I'm not halfway into the splits

- That 180 degree turn thing (derby stop without the stopper stop - not quite there yet) managed to get them going in both directions at Sunday's disco, thanks to Bibi and Sandra.

- JUMPING! in the final minutes of the disco yesterday, I managed to jump over a row of cones. Not the little 1-2 skips I had done before, but actual, both-feet-leaping-and-landing-at-the-same-time-jumping. ACE.


Things I can tick off last week's to-do list:

- "Get a new mouthguard that doesn't make me want to hurl" DONE. Got an OPRO Bronze mouthguard in white. It's really good, if anyone needs a recommendation, and you can get them online for about £3 inc. postage.

- "Get a practice session in between Sunday's roller disco and Friday's training" DONE. BRG.

- "Learn how to actually stop on a surface other than my kitchen tiles, or no-one will believe me." DONE.

To add:

- Learn to stop reliably, at speed.


Other exciting MK Cows news this week:

- COW SOCKS ARE HERE!

- Nef, Red and Betty were on the radio!

- Dutch is putting together a fanzine! (Any ideas for articles in the comments please!)


Right, that's quite enough for now. If you made it this far, well done. Don't think this entry was particularly entertaining, so I will try harder next time. Promise.

C.F.

x

Uh oh, injuries!

Special derby love going out this week to Emma and Joni, who have had some nasty accidents (off the track, I hasten to add).

Emma was knocked down at her son's skating party and dislocated her fingers, and Joni came off her bike in a nasty way and from what I hear is heavily bruised but walking wounded. Now I don't believe in healing energies or any of that stuff, but hurry up and get better girls, for both unselfish and selfish reasons. We miss you!

C.F.

Team photo

(Most of) the Concrete Cows

Here's the first of Mr X Stitch's photos from last night - a team photo of everyone present at last night's practice (notable absentees were Red Button and Joni Joking). More to come this evening; can't wait to see them!

C.F.

Oooooh mama!

After 6 hour-long practices, tonight we had our first hour-and-a-half. And boy, am I feeling it! It was brilliant though, and I definitely feel like I got a chance to challenge myself at things I hadn't tried before (some more successfully than others). The number of status updates from the team proclaiming love for derby tonight (with many an exclamation mark) suggests I am not alone.

In Mong's group, we did our first ever mini-jams, taking it in turn to be jammer, and learning how to block. You know how it looks tough? It's even tougher than that. As final jammer, I didn't even get through the pack once, but I did get up each time I was taken down, which I'm going to hold as a mini-victory over, well... just staying there and having a sit-down, which believe me, was super-tempting.

We also did some speed trials, timing ourselves doing one lap around the track. I was pleased with my time - 14.34 seconds, which ranked seventh (yes, I'm incredibly competitive. I'm working on it) - but above all it was interesting to see the styles of those with the quickest times: the quickest leg movements (ARGH! QUICK INTERLUDE TO GET A MASSIVE SPIDER OFF MY SHIRT) didn't equate to the quickest times; in fact the smoother and longer the strides, the quicker the lap. Something to work on, particularly as I don't exactly have leg-length on my side. Special congrats to the six girls who beat me: The Valkyrie, Bibi Dahl, Stef and Emma (get some skate names!)Squirrel Nut U and The Duchess, all of whom were exemplary skaters (and who blatantly cheated. Honestly, I'm working on it)!

Wish I could update you on Bel's group as well, but I was a bit busy having my arse handed to me on a plate to look over too often. If anyone wants to give us a run-down of what you worked on tonight in the comments, that'd be ace, as I know there's some awesome progress being made.

We were also lucky enough to have tonight's practice documented by Mr X Stitch, whose photos should up soon - when I have them, you'll have them (minus the hideous ones of me that I will understandably censor from your delicate eyes). Thanks to him, to Brodie Gnarl, who rescued Ninja Myrtle and I after Ninja's car failed its MOT, and also to Cer', who gave me a lift to the pub after practice, followed by an impeccably English lift home after the pub, adrenaline-free. :P

Next up, Sunday's roller disco, with the potential of how-many-laps-can-you-do-in-5-minutes practice as well. Two-and-a-half-hours of skatey goodness. Gold.


To do list:

- Get a new mouthguard that doesn't make me want to hurl
- Work on having a longer stride - beat my personal best lap time (and a couple of the other girls', obviously :P)
- Get a practice session in between Sunday's roller disco and Friday's training
- Learn how to actually stop on a surface other than my kitchen tiles, or no-one will believe me.
- Be less competitive/channel competitiveness into self-improvement (probably more achievable!)


Signing off!

Claudia Faceoff

(Rawr! -for Cer')

Happy birthday Betty Knox!

I stole this photo from your Facebook. :)

Today is Betty Knox's 23rd birthday! Gonna see her at practice in approximately 4 hours anyway, but since we'll probably be trying to knock each other over at that point, here's a great big Happy Birthday to the derby girl who just won't stay down! xx

What is roller derby?

Well, that's the question really, isn't it? As I'm pretty new to it myself, I thought I'd let Wikipedia explain:

"Roller derby takes place on a circuit track. Offense and defense are played simultaneously.[68] The two teams playing send five players each onto the track — one jammer (scorer), three blockers (defense), one pivot (a blocker who may become the jammer later in that jam). Helmet covers are used to display the players' positions: a cover with two stars is used for jammers, a striped cover is used for pivots and no cover is used for blockers.

Pivots and blockers from both teams start the game by forming a single pack. In a pack, all players face counterclockwise. The track has two lines marked across the track 30 feet apart, a pivot line and a jammer line around which the players build their initial formation.

Pivots line up on the pivot line and all blockers must line up behind them in any order they choose. The two jammers, who are not considered to be part of the pack, are positioned on the jammer line 30 feet behind the pivot line.

The referee signals the start of jam formation by blowing a whistle. During jam formation, the entire pack moves counterclockwise, during which time players can change position. All pivots/blockers must remain in the pack (i.e., no more than 20 feet in front of or behind the largest group containing blockers from both teams ). When the last person in the pack has passed where the front of the pack was initially lined up, the referee blows the whistle twice, signaling the jammers to take off, and play begins in earnest with a jam.

A jam is a 2-minute countdown period during which both teams attempt to score points. Points can only be scored by the jammers, who, moving counter-clockwise, attempt to pass the pack and lap around as many times as possible. After passing the pack the first time, jammers earn one point each time they legally pass an opposing blocker/pivot. During a jam, all pivots/blockers must remain in the pack. Pivot/blockers attempt to assist their jammer through and out of the pack while simultaneously stopping the opposing jammer from exiting the pack. If a pivot/blocker falls or otherwise becomes separated from the pack, she is out of play (i.e., cannot block or assist the jammers) until she rejoins to the pack.

The first jammer to legally pass all pivots and blockers once the jam begins wins the status of lead jammer for the remainder of the jam. The lead jammer can decide to end the jam at any time before the 2 minutes are up. She does this by placing her hands on her hips repeatedly, which signals the referee to officially call off the jam."

Yeah, so that's that. For the visual learners amongst us, here's a nifty YouTube explanation that explains the same thing in a different way:



Oh yeah, and watch Whip It. It's good.



Also, before I forget, be a doll and 'like' us on Facebook.

We'll love you for it.

What this is all about.

Here it is, the awkward first blog post. I guess I should explain what this is all going to be about.

I am Claudia, and over the last six weeks I have started to become a bad-ass roller derby girl. By which I mean, "I've been learning basic skating from actual bad-ass derby girls with hopes of one day bouting myself. Or just being able to skate and stop without falling over."

I was incredibly lucky to be able to join a team, if not at its conception, at its birth, having attended the inaugural practice of the Milton Keynes Concrete Cows, along with (I think) six other aspiring cows of various skating experience. Since then, our herd has grown to over 20 under the watchful eye of Beltane 'Bel'' Wytch, and latterly Munchin Mong, both skaters from Bedfordshire Roller Girls, and Sandra, who teaches figure skating and gives excellent instruction on improving our skating. Under their leadership, we are starting to look more and more like actual derby girls and are growing into our superhero alter-ego nicknames.

We are becoming derby girls in other ways too. You think 'roller derby', you think 'bruises' (or you think, 'what's roller derby?'. Don't worry, I'm coming to that.). We, the Concrete Cows, have already begun to collect our injuries like Pogs (Remember Pogs? Never mind.). Ninja Myrtle managed an epic bruise the first time she -briefly - stood up in skates, that radiated from the base of her spine (ok, her arse) in beautiful hues of scarlet, yellow and green; I muffed up a baseball slide to pull all the muscles around my left shoulder and repeatedly strain my thumb perfoming what I like to call "wall stops", in lieu of actual skilled stopping methods; The Duchess has almost certainly done something horrific to her coccyx but refuses to see a doctor (Dude! See a doctor!). Betty Knox, whether because of her diminutive height or her experience as a cop, seems to have infinitely more resistance to falls, and as a result HAS NO FEAR.

We have all mastered knee falls, double knee falls ("DOUBLES!"), and four point falls. We can skate in a pace line, and in a pack, and can weave through, giving and receiving hip and arm whips. Some of us are learning baseball slides, plough stops, derby stops, stopper starts and crossovers. Few of us can do T-stops, however, and those who can glide to graceful halts while the rest of us look on with envy. We are developing a uniform that hinges on wearing black and white, with cowprint 'accents', as I heard them described recently. Essentially, hand painted t-shirts, and anything else we can find. We even have cow print over-knee socks en route from Australia.

It's all coming together. We skate together, we attend weekly roller discos together, we geek out over derby YouTube videos and websites together and, after each practice's inevitable "Pub?" "YEAH!" exchange, we drink together. At a pub in Heelands (well, something's gotta give!). It's a real challenge, a real laugh, and we're all just at the beginning. I reckon this cow's got legs (with skates on).

On this blog, I will regularly - or, more likely, sporadically - document our progress as a team and my progress as a skater. I'll include skater profiles of the other girls on the team, and maybe let them write guest posts, as long as they promise not to use my blog as a platform for their own world domination agendas. Hopefully it will be informative and, if not hilarious, at least distracting enough to allow you to procrastinate instead of doing that thing you should be doing. You know what it is.